The first contact is one of the most crucial stages of the sugar dating process. This is when you can follow through on the favorable impression that you would have hopefully made with your profile. This stage will also give you a better idea of the personality traits of each potential candidate, enabling you to make a more informed decision as to the feasibility of each one as a potential sugar baby.
Don’t make the common mistake of replying to every responder with a single generic message. During this early stage, it is as much about making a favorable impression of yourself as it is about finding someone who makes a favorable impression on you. One of the best ways to accomplish this is by coming across as a decent, respectful, and respectable gentleman who they can trust and feel comfortable with.
A great way to do that is by writing a personalized reply for each message that catches your attention. You don’t have to go overboard–a few sentences should do just fine. However, you should at least make an effort to read through the message sent to you carefully and to find out more about the person via her profile page. This will actually give you more information to go on and provide an additional topic of conversation.
Spellcheck is your friend
Check your grammar, spelling, and punctuation as well. There are online tools that you can use for this purpose, and your word processor should come with a set of built-in utilities. Resist the urge to communicate in “millennial” slang or jargon, even if the person you are responding to is clearly in her twenties. Remember that you want to come across as respectable and reasonably mature. Sprinkling your message with emoticons and Internet abbreviations isn’t exactly the best way to accomplish that!
That said, if you are genuinely a casual and fun-loving type of person, don’t be shy about letting that aspect of your personality shine through either. In general, it would be best to ensure that your written communication is consistent with your actual persona.
Content is key
Apart from the technicalities of written communication, you will have to pay attention to the content of your message. If you are interested in the person you are communicating with, your focus should be on moving the conversation forward and hopefully getting to the next stage of establishing a relationship. An effective way to do that is by figuring out a common interest which you two share.
Start by asking questions about a specific character trait or interest that she mentioned in her profile. If you are more into intimate encounters and quiet settings and you find someone who is the same way, you already have a pretty good basis for an enjoyable time together if and when you do decide to meet up in real life. If you share a common interest such as foreign movies or the same type of music, you will at the very least have something to talk about in person.
Define your parameters
Now would also be a great time to communicate your expectations and goals in finding a sugar baby. You don’t have to get too specific, but do make sure to mention specific requirements you may have and any potential deal-breakers right off the bat. If you are dead-set against hooking up with a woman with teenaged children or someone who is an avid clubber, now is the time to say so. You should also make it clear whether you are looking for a casual relationship or a more exclusive arrangement. This will enable you to quickly determine whether or not the person you are talking to is worth pursuing or if you should check out your other options.
Let them down easy
Speaking of other options, there is the issue of how to handle those women that you really have no interest in pursuing. Whether you have just received a single message in response to your ad or you have been communicating online for a while, you should make every effort to be as gracious and as tactful as possible. You might say for example that some specific characteristic trait or interest is something that is unacceptable to you, or that you feel that it just wouldn’t work out.
Letting someone down or cutting them off will obviously be more difficult the longer you have been communicating with each other. Therefore, you shouldn’t let things drag on for too long, particularly if you have a feeling that things wouldn’t work out between you. Be honest and forthright and try to be considerate of the other person’s feelings.
Now, you may come across some pushy or overly aggressive women who may not take too kindly to being given the virtual boot. Some women can get obnoxious and even threatening when you make it clear that you want nothing more to do with them. In that particular scenario, you would do well to resist the urge to lash right back with insults and threats. Instead, maintain your composure and firmly and clearly state that further communication is unwelcome. You may also opt to report the offender to the site’s administrators in the event of particularly vicious language and/or threats.
Don’t rush it!
While in the process of establishing an online relationship, your goal should be to ease the process along without being too pushy or demanding yourself. Think about how you would approach a person in real life. Just as you wouldn’t expect to fall into bed minutes after your first “hi”, you shouldn’t expect a potential sugar baby to put up with overtly sexual advances within your first–or even second or third–messages. Let things build naturally and be on your best behavior at all times, and your efforts will more than likely be rewarded.
The first few messages you share with potential sugar babies will have a lot do with funding the right match and establishing a more rewarding long-term relationship together. Take your time, be yourself, and be respectful, and you will be that much closer to finding the ideal sugar baby!