If things are going very well with you and your sugar baby, you may come to a point when you will consider introducing them to your children. This could very well be one of the biggest decisions you will have to make after taking on a sugar baby, and it is definitely worthy of careful thought and consideration.
How you will deal with the situation is dependent on many factors. You will first have to consider whether your children are old enough to understand the issue in the first place. You will also have to consider the circumstances of your separation or divorce from their mother. Finally, you will have to consider whether or not knowing about your sugar baby would be to their benefit.
All this assumes that you have already carefully considered the idea of having a sugar baby and that you have weighed the implications of your decision. Whether or not you are justified in deciding to have a sugar baby is something that you should have hopefully considered already from all angles. This article therefore focuses solely on the implications of the decision that you have made with regard to how it will affect your children.
Should you introduce your sugar baby to your kids?
The burning question you are probably wrestling with right now is whether or not you should introduce your sugar baby to your children. In order to answer that question, it might be helpful to ask yourself a few others. Why would you want such a meeting to take place? What do you hope to accomplish by doing so?
This is where a considerable degree of honesty with yourself comes into play. Your decision to make your children aware of your sugar baby should be utterly selfless in that your primary consideration should be the welfare of your children. If you are simply trying to salve your conscience or you just want to “get it over with”, you might want to question the wisdom of your decision.
It is definitely not a good idea to introduce your sugar baby to your kids if your primary intention is to get back at your ex-wife by attempting to make her jealous. That is about the most selfish move you could make, and the effect on your children could be devastating.
You might be on more solid ground if your decision is based on a need to “come clean” with your children. It would also help to know that your relationship with your sugar baby is more than a fleeting one, and that it has developed into something with at least a chance of permanence and reciprocity.
Even so, you will have to consider whether or not they are old enough to understand the implications of their father becoming a sugar daddy. Even if they are, you will have to be prepared for the possibility that they may still oppose your decision.
Potential trouble spots
Needless to say, a number of potential “problem areas” and “trouble spots” could arise from your decision. Young children may think that you are trying to replace their mother, or that you are starting up a new family with them out of the picture.
Even older children may not be as understanding as you would hope. If your separation from their mother was a particularly messy one, they may see your sugar baby as the cause of the conflict or yet another tragic detail that they will have to deal with.
You will have to address any and all of these concerns if you have a hope of getting your children to accept your sugar baby.
Dealing with the issue
Assuming that your children are old enough to understand that you have chosen to start a new relationship with someone else, your next priority should be to help them understand the reason for your decision.
Explain to them that your separation from their mother has nothing to do with your sugar baby. Let them know that you have been feeling lonely, but resist the urge to play to their emotions. Being lonely is something that even young children understand, so you don’t have to lay a heavy guilt trip on them just to justify your decision.
One of the most important things you can do is to assure your children that your relationship with your sugar baby will not affect your relationship with them in any way. Let them know that you will still be their father, and that you love them just as much as you ever did. If they see that nothing has changed in the way you treat them, they may actually come around to seeing your new relationship as a good thing, and possibly even be happy for you eventually.
Give it time
In some cases, nothing you say or do can help your children understand why you have taken a sugar baby, especially if your ex-wife has chosen to remain single. Your children may even resent the fact that you are now in a happy relationship with a younger woman while their mother remains alone and miserable.
In such a scenario, there is little you can do to make your case stronger. Forcing the issue might even make it worse, and you run the risk of damaging your relationship with your children for the long-term, or even permanently. If that is the case, it might be a good idea to ease off and to let time take its course. As your children grow older and begin to understand the need for companionship, they may just soften up with regard to your decision to take a second shot at life.
In the worst case scenario of your children refusing to ever accept your sugar baby, you may have to live with keeping both areas of your life totally separate from each other. This is not an ideal solution by any means, but you may have to sacrifice a bit of your convenience and your pride in order to maintain harmony between you and your children.