How Do You Know You Aren’t Being Used?

One of the most common risks involved in embarking on a sugar dating relationship is being used or victimized in some way. Unfortunately, it’s a big bad world out there, and certain unscrupulous individuals think nothing of targeting sugar daddies who they perceive to be gullible or “easy”. Some sugar babies have been known to take advantage of elderly men, either on their own or in conjunction with other perpetrators as part of an organized and well-orchestrated criminal act.

Not all exploitative or abusive sugar dating relationships involve criminal acts. There are also instances wherein the sugar baby simply takes undue advantage of her sugar baby, which happens a lot more often than you think. Because sugar dating relationships so often involve elderly men paired with a much younger woman, it is common for sugar daddies to be swayed or persuaded by their sugar baby into actions or scenarios that are disadvantageous to them.

The different ways by which you may be used

Being used, victimized or taken advantage of can come in many forms. It could be as simple as your sugar baby asking you for more money or more frequently than agreed upon. A common scenario is when a sugar baby seems to run out of cash frequently, and needs you to help her out with “the rent” or some other urgent need.

Some sugar babies may insist on going out shopping at expensive boutique shops or to expensive clubs frequently, sometimes with her friends tagging along. Of course, it is you who will be saddled with the bill at the end of the night or at the end of the shopping expedition.

Still other scenarios involve being asked to share your bank and sensitive financial information, include your bank account number, your credit cards, and so on. This type of abuse borders on the criminal, and is a definite no-no in any sugar dating relationship.

Danger signals

An abusive or exploitative relationship rarely occurs overnight. In particular, criminal attempts to defraud you or steal from you usually take several weeks to plan and to implement. You may therefore be able to avoid becoming a victim by being observant to the common danger signals of being used.

One of the most common signs that something is amiss is being asked for more money than usual or on a more frequent basis. If you have an arrangement with your sugar baby wherein you provide for her rent and other expenses regularly, she really has very little reason to ask you for anything more. This could mean that she is either using the money for something–or someone–else, or she is just not that good at managing her finances. Either scenario points to a person that you may not want to be with for very long.

Also beware of a sugar baby who seems to have a habit of disappearing at the most inopportune times and for no good reason. It is particularly suspicious when your sugar baby disappears periodically for a few days and then shows up looking the worse for wear and needing money for some unexplainable “emergency”. This may be an indication of a substance abuse problem or involvement with a shady character who you really don’t want to have anything to do with.

Other signs that your sugar baby may be taking advantage of you are things disappearing from her condo or apartment, signs of parties having taken place in your absence, pieces of men’s clothing left behind, and mysterious texts or phone calls.

Avoiding misunderstandings

Now any and all of these instances do not necessarily mean that you are being used. If they occur only once and are never repeated, your sugar baby may have a good explanation for it. For this reason, you should always keep the lines of communication between you and your sugar baby open at all times.

Don’t wait until things become intolerable. The time for communication is when the first suspicious incident occurs, not when you have already been had. Have a good talk with your sugar baby the first time you feel something is wrong. Be calm, reasonable, and understanding, but don’t take any nonsense either.

Steps you can take to protect yourself

There are a number of things you can do to prevent becoming a victim. Always keep a watchful eye on your sugar baby’s actions and be alert for any changes in her behavior. If she often acts nervous or furtive around you, she may be hiding something.

Keep stock of the things that you give here, particularly if they are very expensive. For particularly valuable items, you may even wish to keep a list. This will help ensure that she doesn’t simply pawn away any valuable gifts that you give here or give them to someone else.

You should definitely keep track of your expenses as it pertains to her upkeep. Knowing how much cash you are giving her and for what purpose will prevent her from asking you for more money than you have agreed upon.

In more extreme cases, it may be necessary for you to hire a private detective to keep track of her activities. However, you should also consider the possibility that maintaining the relationship isn’t advisable anymore if you have to resort to such measures.

Unless you really trust your sugar baby totally, there is no good reason why you should have to share your bank or financial details with her. Never agree to grant a sugar baby access to your bank or credit card account, especially if you have been together only for a while. This will not only help you prevent any theft or unauthorized access to your finances, but reduce your chances of overspending as well.

At some point in an abusive or exploitative relationship, you will have to make the decision to end the relationship and move on. When the time comes, act swiftly and decisively, and resist the urge to give your sugar baby a second chance no matter how much time you have invested in here. A sugar baby that has taken advantage of you once will likely try to take advantage of you again, so don’t give her the satisfaction of doing so.

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