The success of any relationship is often dependent on how much effort you put into it. Whether the relationship is between two teenagers going steady for the first time, a 20-something couple thinking about moving in together, or an older couple deciding to pick up the pieces after a failed relationship, a bit of effort on the part of both partners is one of the most basic requirements.
This is the case with sugar dating as well. No matter how causal or businesslike the arrangement may be, both partners have their share of responsibilities to uphold. And it will take at least some effort to meet those responsibilities.
Of course, how much effort you actually put in will depend on a number of factors including the nature of the relationship, any prior agreement you have with your sugar baby, and perhaps most importantly, how much you want to get out of the relationship.
Effort = expectations
In order to better understand just how much effort should go into maintaining a relationship, it may be helpful to first determine what you expect out of it. Are you simply looking for a quick hookup or a short-term relationship lasting a couple of weeks at most? Or are you after a longer term arrangement or a deeper and more meaningful relationship that would ideally last for several years? Answering these questions will give you a better idea of how much effort you should put into your relationship with your sugar baby.
Degree of commitment
It is also important to have a clear understanding with your sugar baby as to how binding the arrangement will be between you two. In most sugar dating arrangements, the only requirement for the sugar daddy is to play the role of a financial provider. In such a scenario, the only real effort required is to make sure that the financial needs of your sugar baby are met. This may include paying for accommodations, buying her a car of her own, paying her living, medical, and emergency expenses, and so on. If you are able to meet all these needs, there is very little else you have to do in order to live up to your end of the bargain.
Of course, some sugar dating relationships will require you to put a little more effort into it than that. Depending on the dynamics of the relationship, your sugar baby may expect you to play the role of a caring and attentive partner, on top of your responsibilities of providing for her financial needs. This means picking her up for dates, giving her gifts and flowers, acting the part of a gentleman, and so on. You may even be expected to provide emotional support and counsel, particularly if she looks up to your as a father figure or a mentor of some sort.
Respect goes both ways
This brings us to another aspect of making an effort within the boundaries of a sugar dating relationship. Many sugar daddies seem to think that just because they are paying the bills, they have a right to treat their sugar baby any way they like. This often translates to rude or ill-mannered behavior, wherein the sugar baby is treated as little more than an employee at best, or a prostitute at worst.
Keep in mind that things are a lot different nowadays than they were twenty or even just ten years ago, and few sugar babies will be willing to put up with such abusive treatment. Many see sugar dating as a legitimate means of supporting themselves while they work towards some specific life goal. Just as many will be aware that you need them as much as they need you. You should therefore rid yourself of outdated notions of being the “master” of the relationship, and instead work to establish a foundation of trust and mutual respect.
Of course, there is nothing stopping you from being an unpleasant old codger if you wish. There are still a number of sugar babies who will put up with a cranky, bossy, or even downright cruel sugar daddy as long as he keeps the money flowing. But such a relationship is doomed from day one. This early on, you might as well give up any illusions of there being some kind of future for the both of you if you insist of playing hardball.
At the core of it, “making an effort” often comes down to plain and simple respect. How much effort you will put in depends on how much you respect your sugar baby, and how important it is for you to ensure that she is happy and satisfied within the relationship. If you want her to stick with you, you will quite simply have to make an effort to ensure that she has a good reason to stay.
Equality within the relationship
Take away the fact that your relationship is based on your providing for her financial needs, and a sugar dating relationship is pretty much just like any other between two consenting adults. That being the case, making an effort often boils down to letting her know that you care and that you consider her an equal.
A good way to achieve that is by talking to her about her feelings, needs, and goals. Let her know that you consider her more than just a warm body or a pretty face you can show off to your friends. Be open and gracious about sharing tips and advice, particularly if it has something to do with her future.
Mind the little things
Don’t neglect the little things that show her that you care. You will find that many sugar babies are quite old-fashioned with regard to romantic gestures, and giving her flowers and candy is still an effective way to score points. Holding doors open for her, lighting her cigarette, and introducing her properly to other people are all traditional practices that still make a favorable impression to this day.
As you can see, making an effort within the boundaries of a sugar dating relationship is done in pretty much the same as with any other type of relationship. Treat your sugar baby with respect and put as much effort into it as you would a romantic relationship, and your efforts will be rewarded.