It’s somewhat perplexing to think that despite how long sugar dating has been around, people still tend to think of it in less than savory terms. Although it is true that the sugar dating world has traditionally been the domain of sleazy older men looking for a trophy girlfriend or a sex toy, we’ve surely come far enough to leave those dated perceptions behind…or have we?
The unfortunate fact of the matter is that many people still do hold on to those outmoded notions of sugar dating. And more often than not, it is the sugar babies that are on the receiving end of the criticism and prejudice. Often regarded as little more than prostitutes, sugar babies have had to unfairly put up with harsh judgments and accusations from the less tolerant and less understanding members of society.
In order to break down these perceptions, it might be helpful to take a look at where they stemmed from in the first place. Traditionally, sugar babies were paid for providing companionship and “personal services” to their sugar daddies. Sugar daddies for their part essentially paid to have young and attractive women at their beck and call.
The “personal services” part is where things got a little…touchy. Although not all sugar dating relationships involved the promise of sex, it is important to acknowledge that sex did in fact play a big role in the arrangement between sugar daddies and sugar babies. While some sugar daddies expected nothing more from their sugar babies than companionship, many more did expect these women to fulfill a sexual role. Considering the fact that women did get paid for these and other services, you can see how sugar dating became associated with prostitution.
Now, just because there is some basis to the connection made between sugar dating and prostitution doesn’t mean that the definition still holds true. Just like anything else in the realm of man-woman relationships, things have changed in the sugar dating world. Not all women are money-hungry, conniving vixens out to fleece gullible old men out of their money. It’s simply no longer true that all women who become sugar babies do so with the sole aim of being paid for sex.
It’s also inaccurate to think of all sugar babies as helpless, wilting flowers in need of a man to save them. You would be surprised to find that many sugar babies today are actually liberated and progressive-thinking women driven by their own goals and ambitions.
Take the case of Jenna. A noticeably-attractive brunette in her mid-20s, Jenna actually has a degree in economics and is getting ready to start up her own consultancy firm. A sugar baby since she was 21, Jenna sees sugar dating simply as a means to achieve a very specific end.
“I realized early on that I would have to take extreme measures to get to the next level in my chosen career,” said Jenna. “The business world is a fiercely competitive one, and I had to use all my advantages in order to compete. When I made the decision to become a sugar baby, I was simply interested in trying to fast track my way to my career. I’ve since warmed up to the idea of being a sugar baby and I do admit to having loads of fun. Even so, I know exactly what I’m trying to accomplish and I always make sure to keep my eye on the prize.”
Like Jenna, many sugar babies see nothing wrong with making money by being a sugar baby. Some like Wendy actually resent being associated with escorts or other women that charge for sexual services. “I make it clear to anyone I date that I will have sex only on my own terms,” she said. “Not to brag, but I know that I can have sex with anyone I want. All I am offering as part of the agreement is companionship, nothing more. Anyone who expects sex to be automatically part of the deal is sorely mistaken.”
Wendy clarifies that she isn’t opposed to the idea of having sex if the relationship develops naturally. She clarifies: “I have had sex with some of the sugar daddies I’ve gone with, but only after I had become emotionally attached to them. It was never coerced or forced on me as part of the sugar dating arrangement. If I get close enough to a guy and I am attracted enough to him, he might get lucky,” she said with the tiniest hint of a smile.
More often than not, there is a certain element of power play in any man-woman relationship, and it is no different in the sugar dating world. Because of their role as financial provider, the sugar daddy often assumes the dominant position. Although most sugar babies accept this as a matter of course, not all sugar babies are willing to play the subservient role to the extreme.
Faith is one example. After having had a string of sugar dating relationships in her 20s, she quickly realized that women have their own roles to play in a sugar dating relationship…and it isn’t necessarily a support one. “One of the most important lessons I’ve learned was that everyone brings something to the table in any relationship,” she said. “Sure the sugar daddy pays all the bills and generally handles most of the financial needs of the sugar baby. But that doesn’t mean that they get to call all the shots.”
“Sugar babies like me enter into these arrangements with the idea of being a co-equal partner in the relationship,” she continued. “We provide an essential service–whether that means sex or companionship–and we get paid for it…as simple as that. That doesn’t place us in the position of servant, nor does it place the sugar daddy in the position of boss.”
As you can see, sugar babies today operate on the principle of providing a service in exchange for remuneration. More akin to a service-based business model, the elimination of the element of coercion or lack of choice should do away with the comparisons to prostitution…hopefully for good.